Grieving Mom or Dad: 5 Tips to Help Manage the Loss
Losing a parent is one of the most heartbreaking things we can experience. While everyone has a different relationship with their parents, many people consistently turn to them for advice and comfort well into adulthood. Naturally, losing a close confidant, friend, and role model is life-changing.
Whether you lost your mother, father, or both, it's understandable that you feel confused and upset. You may even feel angry, guilty, or shocked that they have died. Everyone grieves differently, and it's okay to take time to work through your loss. As you grieve your mom and dad, there are things you can keep in mind to make the process a little more manageable.
1. Don't Rush Your Process
Many people think that things will get easier if they jump right back into life. Instead of taking time to work through your emotions, it may feel tempting to put them aside. While it is tempting to fast-forward through your grieving process, it won't help in the long-run. As much as you try to ignore your feelings, they will continue to creep in where you least expect them.
Instead of trying to rush your grieving process, allow it to happen naturally. You may need to take time off of work or spend time alone. It may take weeks before you start to feel a little better, so allow yourself to take this time. Losing a parent is a life-altering event, and it's typically not something that you can grieve in just a few days.
2. Remember to Take Care of Yourself
When you experience a life-altering event, like the death of a loved one, other things suddenly seem unimportant. When you're grieving the loss of a parent, you may find yourself overwhelmed by the various tasks at hand, especially if you still have to take care of your parents' affairs or estate. Many people find that their mental health declines while grieving, making it hard to take care of themselves.
Make it a priority to take care of yourself, even if it's just small efforts. If you can check a few boxes every day — taking a shower, eating something, doing a little work — then you're making progress. It will take time to get back to your "normal" routine, and that's okay.
3. Surround Yourself with Loved Ones
One of the best ways to cope with grief is to surround yourself with supportive and loving people. If you lost one parent but still have the other one, be sure to spend extra time with them. Also, maintain closer contact with your siblings, cousins, or aunts and uncles if you have any. Though other family members may not experience your grief in the same way, they can still be there to offer love and support. When you lose someone, it's easy to focus on your grieving and not consider anyone else's. However, if your late parent has a surviving spouse or other kids, they are going through a trying time as well. Offer your support and enjoy your family's support in return.
4. Share Memories of Your Parent
Many people worry that the memory of their loved ones will fade as time goes on. However, this doesn't have to be the case. Make a point to remember your parent's legacy. Share fond memories with other family members, and even consider putting together a scrapbook or memory book. As the months go by, you can revisit these memories, so you never forget how important your parent was.
5. Consider Joining a Grief Support Group
As time goes on, you may find that coping with your loss isn't getting any easier. It's difficult to go through life without feeling like you have anyone to lean on. Grief support groups can help you get through it.
Consider looking online or in-person for a group of like-minded people who are experiencing the loss of a parent. By sharing your stories and listening to those of others, you may find it easier to move forward and manage your grief more easily.
To start working through your grief recovery, consider some time with a therapist one-on-one. Please read more about grief counseling, we're here to support you. Schedule a consultation soon.