You can basically describe love the same way you would fire.
It’s beautiful, fascinating, and mesmerizing. It touches and warms our heart. And it nourishes us in a way that no other thing can.
Unfortunately, it can also wane like fire does when you don’t attend to it. Has the flame of love grown colder in your relationship?
You’re not alone. It’s not at all uncommon that passion fades over time, especially in a long-term relationship. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late and you have to be resigned to passionless love.
You can take action and relight the fire.
Five Ways to Relight the Fire of Passion in Your Relationship
The analogy between love and literal fire also works when trying to determine how to relight the fire of passion in your relationship. Consider five points:
1. Treat each other like lovers, not roommates
If you use fire for too many things at one time, it will not serve any of them well. But if you decide which purpose takes priority, you can harness its full power. In the same way, remember that your partner can’t be everything to you. If you want to fan the flames of passion, you need to make that aspect your priority and treat your mate like a lover. Think back to the time when your relationship started and recall what attracted you to your partner. Remember that romance and re-experience it.
2. Give each other space
Fire needs air to burn. If you smother it, it will slowly but surely die. The same is true for love and passion. You don’t yearn for someone that’s always right there. Give yourselves the opportunity to long for one another. Let the space you create carry you from waves of closeness to times spent apart. Just like subtle shifts of air alternately rouse or calm a fire.
3. Be passionate
Fire needs to be stirred up to rekindle. Think about these: What stirs you? What excites you and makes you feel alive? How do you show what’s in your heart?
If you want to experience passion, you have to be passionate. Look for opportunities to be romantic: a special date, a spontaneous dance with lights turned low. Try out new things: a new restaurant, candles in the bedroom, new moves. Get close and hug, hold hands, playfully touch and kiss – not just when you have time for more. Brush against one another and whisper sweet things in each others’ ears. There are so many delightful ways to relight the fire you have for each other.
4. Leave a little mystery in your relationship
Fire looks the most beautiful from a little distance, where you can fully observe the mystic dance of flames. But if you get too close to examine every detail, it can burn you. Much the same, you don’t have to know every little detail about your partner. That’s not what intimacy is. Of course, you shouldn’t withhold anything important. But leaving a little mystery in your relationship creates curiosity and attraction.
5. Continue growing
Fire needs fuel to burn, consistently added fuel. Continuously growing in knowledge and understanding of your partner fuels love. Be attentive – sit close and look into your mate’s eyes – and listen carefully when they speak about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It will help you grow closer together, rather than drift apart.
Making an extra effort to be attentive, considerate, and passionate in your relationship will be well worth it. With a little willingness and initiative, you can feel the excitement, attraction, and anticipation you felt when you started dating all over again.