Dating Online –- Are You Being Lazy or Smart?

Nowadays, most people are constantly looking at their phone or another electronic device. We’ve taken multitasking to a new level of extreme.

With several apps often being used simultaneously, online dating fits right into this technological obsession.

The question most people want to have answered is how this new approach affects dating.

How Dating has Changed: Traditional to Technological

The concept of dating online has changed our approach to dating in general. Traditional dates or “dinner and a movie” dates are scarce now. We have come to know these types of dates as the second stage in the online dating game.

For instance, rather than spontaneously meeting someone special, you find a “match” on an online dating site. Once you’ve successfully made an online connection, you meet that person in real life via a traditional date. Some would say this added step has streamlined the dating process.

Due to the technological overtake of dating, the way we communicate with a potential mate has significantly changed a well. Talking face-to-face is quite rare, and not many people value this style of communication anymore. Traditional communication has taken a back seat to texting, emailing, and FaceTime.

It’s all very convenient. Many people have compared it to online shopping. You can shop by pictures and accessible info right in front of you. Each person can make it his or her own unique experience.

Dating Online is Subjective

While dating online is typically focused on helping you find a potential mate, it can be used for other things as well. In short, it is what you make it. It can be both smart and lazy. Your approach determines the outcome most of the time.

Unfortunately for the romantic at heart, many dating sites run rampant with people looking strictly for hookups and casual sex. Sorting through these accounts can be frustrating.

On the other hand, it can be a positive experience so long as you’re focused on the right things. It’s easy to become distracted by all the bells and whistles of a dating site, not to mention all the other people.

Lazy or Smart: Lazy

When does dating online falter to the side of being lazy? The answer is when you start approaching it haphazardly.

Sadly, dating online is prone to becoming lazy dating. We could call this effect technology-induced laziness. Most of this happens in the communication department. When the aforementioned texting and emailing too often replace a valuable and much-need face-to-face conversation, laziness has set in.  

Another lazy approach is in making the first contact. On most dating sites, you can send a potential mate a digital wink or poke. This lets them know that you have noticed them and are possibly interested.

While there is no problem in letting someone know you’ve noticed him or her, this approach does encourage the less assertive behavior. A big complaint with online daters is that after a digital wink or poke, the ball is now in their court. In short, this method of initial contact has been pegged as lazy and unattractive.

Clearly, your approach can define you either as a lazy dater or something a little more attractive.

Lazy or Smart: Smart

Many people have established positive romantic relationships through online dating sites. Even amidst some wild meet and greet stories, the majority of connections are positive. How do you avoid being a negative statistic, though?

This depends on your focus and also how you represent yourself. There are strategies to dating online the smart way.

In terms of your profile, stay true to your authentic self. Most of us want to click the radial button next to “athletic build,” but we’d be kidding ourselves. In fact, that would a misrepresentation of who you are.

Stick to your own dating standards by putting your best and your true foot forward. Then follow up your initial contact with one of those old fashion traditional dates.

Another smart move is to focus on those interested in you rather than the ones who aren’t. It’s tempting to cyber stalk the people who turned you down. Of course, you want to know why they aren’t interested, but you may never get these answers. Rather than worry or obsess, focus on the people who are interested in you.