Out With the Old, In With the New – When Is It Really Considered a Rebound?

You Still Have Romantic Feelings for Your Ex

Your mind knows that you have ended the relationship, but your heart might need a while to grasp it. Thus, you have to let your heart play catch-up before truly embarking on a new romantic endeavor.

You can’t successfully build a fire on top of another fire. You have to wait till the first one turns to ash then start again from scratch.

So, if you still feel a special love and concern for your ex, then any romance kindled before those feelings are gone is going to be a rebound.

You’re Looking for Temporary Relief from Heartbreak

Another strong indicator that your relationship is a rebound is that you don’t want it, you need it. Rather, you need it as a form of relief.

Like 1,001 heartbreak songs sing, heartbreak is devastating. It’s no wonder so many people desperately search for relief from it.

Though, how do you decipher your own actions to realize what it truly is? Well, if you only call them when you’re unhappy and when you’re happy you don’t need them, that’s a dead giveaway. Thus, when the heartbreak hits you’re all about that new person—otherwise, not so much.

You Use the New Romance Only to Flaunt

Showing off a new date is probably one of the biggest indicators that you’re in a rebound relationship. Really, it’s a sort of “look how well I’m doing without you” kind of approach.

Flaunting a new romance once or twice is only natural, but over and over is not healthy for anyone involved. A constant need for flaunting can make your new partner feel (undeservingly so) used. It’s also a telltale sign that you have unresolved emotional baggage.

Making an exhibition of your new flame is one of the most common ways to “get back” at an ex-lover, but it’s also one of the most damaging and obvious.

You Date Your Ex Without Dating Your Ex

If you’ve ever seen the episode of Friends where Rachel dates a Ross’ look-a-like, you’ll know exactly what I mean with this point. Without even knowing it, the character Rachel dates a man who looks and acts almost identical to her former lover, Ross. She fails to realize what she’s done until her friends point it out.

Obviously, this look-a-like was a rebound for her because she wasn’t over Ross yet.

Hence, another very common rebound giveaway is to find yourself in the presence of a partner who reminds you of your ex. It’s almost as if you projected your ex’s traits onto your new partner.

You Keep the New Flame on the Outskirts of Your Life

It doesn’t always go without saying, but a rebound is usually not allowed in the inner circle of friends. Nope.

Most likely, you’ll ban them to the outside circle. Generally, it happens without either of you knowing it. After all, there is a natural integration process when you date someone seriously.

You slowly introduce them to your friends and they become part of your intimate social network. This is a natural step in the dating process, but it’s one that you skip when you date a rebound. You possibly overlook it because deep down you know the relationship isn’t long term anyway.

If you’re having trouble recovering from a breakup, then please contact me. Together we can approach the complex emotions you’re feeling, navigate through them together, and help you to avoid falling into the “out with the old, in with the new” trap of a rebound relationship.