How to Be Assertive
Some people avoid being assertive because they don’t want to seem too harsh. So, knowing the right way to practice assertiveness to get what you want is important.
Assertiveness is direct. It’s honest. It’s a way to strongly express your thoughts without harming the thoughts or feelings of another person. You don’t want to disrespect anyone or violate their rights with your assertiveness.
One way to practice assertiveness correctly is to think of a time in your life where you got something you wanted. Maybe it was a raise, maybe it was a new car, etc. Think about how you acted at the time. Chances are, you felt confident and you were a little assertive, even if you didn’t realize it.
Everyone has the ability to be more assertive. It’s up to you to determine the difference between constructive assertiveness and aggression. They’re very different things, but they’re very personal things.
Using Assertiveness for Reaching Your Goals
When you’re assertive, you’re more likely to say what you want and what you expect. You’re also more likely to say what you can do to make those expectations happen.
Often, our goals in life involve others. If you’re trying to get a promotion at work, for example, being assertive with your boss can let them know what you can do and what you’re willing to do to get the raise. Maybe they know you’re a good employee but wouldn’t have noticed your dedication otherwise.
Assertiveness also sets establishes trust with people. When you’re clear with what you need and want, and what you can and can’t do, you’re setting boundaries for yourself. You’re not afraid of those boundaries.
When others see your boundaries, they know they can trust you to tell the truth and not overshoot your mark in an attempt to look better. Being honest and direct with others will make it easier than ever to reach your goals because you’ll have people on your side to help you out.
Setting your own boundaries will also help people to see you in a positive light. When they respect you more, you’re more likely to be treated better at work, and in your personal life. You’re less likely to be “walked” on by people who see you as timid.
Achieving Success With Assertiveness
Being clear about your goals and showing assertiveness of that clarity can go a long way. It’s not always easy to be assertive at first. And, you might be worried about coming across as harsh.
The best thing you can do is to practice. It might seem silly, but it’s true! Practicing your assertiveness will help you to gauge just how assertive you need to be to express your desires clearly.
If you’re typically a shy and timid person, it’s time to break out of your shell. You might be surprised at how much easier it is expressing your goals and eventually reaching them when you’re a bit more assertive.