5 Ways to Tune Into What You Really Want in a Relationship
1. Know Yourself
Before you can expect to find your happy ending, you need to start by knowing yourself. What are the qualities you are looking for in a partner? Take a deep look inward, and consider what you find attractive beyond external features. Relationships take work and do require some element of compatibility.
This doesn’t necessarily mean making a checkbox list because that creates a rather strict and sometimes unrealistic guideline. You do want to have fluid ideas in the back of your head. Casual dating is enjoyable, but if you’re looking for something long-term, make sure not to compromise your values and beliefs.
2. Know Your Red Flags
Speaking of not compromising, creating a list of red flags can help save you grief in the future. In a relationship, it is easy to be blinded by a person, especially in the honeymoon phase. During that time, red flags can easily be missed or overlooked to hold on to the idea of this great relationship.
Always trust your gut and intuition when entering a relationship or taking one to the next step. Future you wouldn’t want a pile of red flags leading toward a toxic or failed relationship. If you are already in that type of relationship, it might be time to re-evaluate your stance.
3. Trust Your Circle
A relationship takes two people. So what should it matter what anyone else thinks? Well, rarely does a relationship not involve outsiders in the friends and family form. Turning to your close circle for advice and guidance could be extremely beneficial. These are people who want you to be happy. They want what is best for you, not just good or fun. If you don’t know exactly what qualities are good or what you are looking for at the moment, odds are, someone in that circle could help you out. Sometimes that outsider information can be truly helpful in honing in on positive things. Who knows, they may know you better than you know yourself. The worst that can happen is you discard that information, but you probably could find it useful.
4. Living The Dream
After incorporating the previous methods, now picture your dream partner and relationship. What do you see yourself doing in the next five, ten, or fifteen years? Those activities or interests you imagine can help guide you in your search process. Or they can help guide changes to your current relationship.
If writing is your thing, write it out. Some people use vision boards. Use whatever method you choose to select values and qualities that support that dream and your long-term goals.
5. Don’t Forget Your Needs
It is great to be aware of the qualities you want in a partner and the goals of your future relationship. Knowing the direction you want a relationship to go in is important. In addition to knowing yourself, knowing what you NEED in a relationship is equally important. No one wants to come off as selfish, so it can be easy to overlook your needs. Don’t make this mistake! Pay attention to what you require physically, emotionally, intimately, and socially from your partner.
Dating and relationships are a complex sport sometimes. If you feel at a loss in finding your partner or are unsure what you actually want, have no fear. We are here to help guide you!