Tips for Communicating with an Emotionally Distant Partner

Choose the Right Time

If you’re experiencing distance with your partner, the timing of your communication is crucial. You should avoid discussing sensitive topics when you’re stressed or busy. Divided attention will not add anything productive to your communication efforts.

Choose moments when you both are available and attentive. Ensure you’re both calm, especially if you’re working through conflict. If possible, communicate in private or in a quiet space.

Be Mindful About How You Express Your Feelings

Repairing the emotional distance with your partner requires effort and the right approach. When opening up a conversation with your partner, you want to be honest about your feelings and gentle in your delivery.

Using “I” statements will set you up for better outcomes compared to placing blame on your partner. This will minimize defensiveness and promote more openness. Try using the phrase “I feel disconnected with…” as opposed to saying “you don’t do…”

Go At Your Own Pace

Just because you’re ready to initiate conversation doesn’t mean your partner will be instantly ready to open up. Be respectful of your partner and their boundaries. Give your partner the space they may need to become vulnerable.

Gradually encouraging openness will offer better outcomes than forcing something your partner isn’t ready for. If you push too hard, they may shut down even more. Begin with lighter topics that are easier to navigate before you move on to something deeper and more sensitive.

Practice Active Listening

One communication skill that is often overlooked or undervalued is active listening. During conversations, it’s natural to start formulating your response before the other person is done speaking. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, or further distance.

When communicating with your partner, make a concerted effort to allow them to finish their statements and focus on everything they say. Take a moment to process what you’ve heard, and then formulate your response.

Provide Validation

We often take for granted those little moments that help our emotional connection grow. Life gets busy, and we become comfortable in our relationship.

When your partner does something to open up or take steps towards communicating more effectively, give them validation. Take the time to express little appreciations here and there. That small act of positivity can truly go a long way.

Identify the Underlying Cause of Your Distance

As you progress in your conversations, explore the potential cause for this distance between you. Is stress making one or both of you shut down? Did some traumatic experience leave lasting wounds? Is one of you struggling with mental health? Whatever the reason may be, approach the topic without judgment or criticism.

Seek Support

Sometimes, navigating emotional distance is difficult to do on your own. If communication is the problem or feels like a challenge, you have additional options to consider.

Therapy offers an outside perspective that is neutral and can provide professional guidance. Together, we can improve communication skills, uncover any underlying issues, and establish healthy coping strategies, conflict resolution, and stress management. If you’re interested in learning more, contact us to get started.