These feelings are perfectly normal. In fact, having reservations about living together is quite natural. This is a big step in your own life and a big step for your relationship, too. Although this is a significant move, it doesn’t have to be a difficult one. And it doesn’t have to have negative outcomes like boredom or conflict within your relationship either. You can transition smoothly and keep your passion alive in the meantime. The following are a few tips to consider before you start packing.
Discuss Financial Duties
Sharing a living space also means sharing bills. Remember not to assume that you each know what the other is planning or expecting in terms of bill paying.
With that being said, it’s time for you to talk about the details of your combined finances. The term combined finances doesn’t necessarily imply opening a joint account, but it does mean that you will both probably be chipping in on living expenses.
So, how do you plan to divide your bills and from which account will they be paid? Another good financial topic revolves around your future. For instance, will you save an emergency fund together or save for future joint purchases like a couch or a deep freeze?
No, there probably won’t be romantic flames kindling during this very adult conversation. It will clear the air and dissolve any financial uncertainties, though.
Keep in mind that when domestic responsibilities are taken care of, it frees up your mind for other things… like romance.
Define Your Personal Space
While you were living separately, you had your own place to retreat to as you pleased. Living together, however, changes the dynamics of personal space. It’s best to prepare yourself for this change.
No matter if you’re introverted or extroverted, you and your partner will each need the right environment in which to mentally recharge.
Have an open discussion about your individual needs. This will help you avoid a situation in which one of you will be offended when the other “needs some space.” While there is nothing wrong with alone time, there is if your partner is clueless about it.
Recharging separately will provide you with that extra boost of energy when the two of you do connect. Also, the appropriate personal space will prevent familiarity and boredom from setting up camp in your home.
Continue to Date
This tip is one that many cohabiting couples overlook. Some people fall for the false notion that being in close proximity with someone equals closeness with them, as well.
When you were living separately it was easy to date, but dating when you’re living together might seem a little odd. It’s important to continue to date one another even when you live under the same roof.
Go to dinner together. Go mini-golfing. Get outside of your home and focus on enjoying one another’s company apart from domestic life.
By continuing to date, you will create an element of separateness between your home life and your romantic life.
Divide Household Chores
The most unromantic part of living together is probably doing household chores. Cleaning the toilet doesn’t exactly fan the flames of love.
Sometimes it can, though.
What I mean by this is that when you both decide who will do what regarding household chores, you won’t be surprised by the unexpected things that pop up like who was supposed to bring home dinner or who should have done the dishes.
Agree to divide up the chores so that you can each depend on the other one. When everyday things are completed, you avoid disagreements on the subject.
It’s an unfortunate phenomenon, but when mundane things cause discord, it also invites a mundane feeling into the relationship.
From Living Separately to Living Together
This is an exciting step in your romantic relationship. Following these tips will help you achieve a smooth transition. Most importantly, you can maintain the excitement while living together that you felt while you were living separately.