How to Build Individual Resilience and Why You Should

Why Individual Resilience Is Important

Whether we like it or not, all of us will go through painful times. Many of us will experience some type of trauma. The variety of difficulties is broad: health problems, losing loved ones, mental health diagnoses, financial struggle and ruin, natural disasters, abuse, and more. If you’ve experienced any of these, you know firsthand how they can disrupt your life.

What we do in response to these traumas reveals our level of individual resilience. Resilience is what will allow us to stay the course and push through. It prevents us from being completely crushed by negative experiences and find a way back to healing. Even if we feel overpowered and have lost hope in the past, we can still establish resiliency in our lives moving forward.

A Personal Path

Resilience isn’t a one-size-fits-all quality. Some people are genetically predisposed one way or the other. Some grow up in a supportive environment that helps establish resiliency. And others experience traumatic events during childhood that arrest the development of resiliency.

No matter who you are, though, you can grow your individual resilience level.

A Deliberate Process

Therapists and researchers who study resilience have identified deliberate steps people can take to nurture this quality in themselves. Like any skill, you can learn the steps and put them into practice in your life. With time and frequency of use, your individual resilience will grow.

Avoid All-or-None Thinking

When we are passed over for a job or survive a relationship breakup, it’s easy to feel like we missed out on the most important thing in our life. Instead, learn to reframe the way you view setbacks. It’s ok to feel disappointed and hurt — but remember that there are other opportunities and adventures ahead.

Build Connection

It can be easy to confuse resilience with individualism, but this isn’t what it is. Instead, the most resilient people have close connections with others. They can express their feelings and reach out to the community when they struggle.

Building relationships isn’t easy for everyone, especially if you’ve experienced relational trauma or have social anxiety. But it is still possible. Start with small steps or online groups. Consider therapy if this remains a hurdle for you.

Accept Yourself

Another key to resilience is giving yourself grace. This approach means that you don’t beat yourself up or put yourself down when things don’t go your way. You know that there are lessons to be learned in every situation, especially if you are patient with the process. You can laugh at yourself and give yourself time and room.

Stress Management

Those things that traumatize us in life also create the most stress. Even if we’re not overtly traumatized, ongoing stress from work, school, and relationships can thin our resilience. Putting stress management techniques into regular use, however, strengthens our resilience. These include deep breathing, mindfulness, exercise, therapy, humor, and recreation.

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As a counselor, I’ve seen many people move through trauma and find healing and strength. If you’re struggling to build your resilience after trauma, please reach out to my office or visit my page about Trauma Counseling. Together, we can help you learn to forge a stronger, healthier path.